oh yeah!

I rode 29.2 miles on my bike yesterday. All I needed was an excuse to do it, as it turns out. I was registered for the solvang half century just a few days ago, and though I know it's just two weeks away, something tells me I will start the race and I will finish it. If I can ride 30 miles without going further than the grocery store for almost six months, I know I can go 50 with a few long rides under my belt. Here goes nothin!

On the up and up

Like a weight lifted, I can breathe again. Even though so much is still to be decided for our future, one thing is finally solid, and I can build a structure around that.

Who else do you know who has lost jobs? Who else has had their plans changed dramatically in the past two years? I would love to share stories of hope and healing.

At first it felt like, why write? Why write if I am not speaking from the centered, grounded life that feels the most comfortable to me? Why write if my life is all over the place and nothing makes sense?

This is the juicy moment though. Remember that early post, into the pain? In the difficult moments is where I learn the tools to do well at life. What is working? What feels off? Why do I think that is? What are my natural healing mechanisms?

Sleep. I have been going to bed at reasonable times and staying in bed for hours and hours after the sun has come up. My body is using this time to get into some deep rest and have some bright, vibrant dreams, so much easier for me to remember in the morning. Even as a niggling voice is suggesting, "start getting up and doing something in the morning!" as long as I'm NOT getting up, I might as well get the most out of it. I figure at this point I have two options: sleep in and feel guilty about it, or sleep in and feel amazing every day, grateful for all that luxurious rest. Which one sounds the healthiest to you?

Herbs. I love to incorporate herbs in my life: fresh ones in salads and cooking, and dried ones in teas or as seasoning. It feels good using potent medicinal foods as the things I would otherwise be eating or drinking anyway. Last week, though, I went to the store for two tinctures to use for the sole purpose of making me feel better. One to soothe my racing heart and mind and one to lift my spirits.

Sun. My new home has a patio with direct light every morning, and I sit with my toes in the sun and soak it in.

Things are looking brighter.

travel

I am on the craziest adventure I can think of: move out of a beautiful home we couldn't afford in Los Angeles into my husband's parents' house for free rent in a city I had never heard of before I met them. Nothing but a possibly impossible plan about where we'll be next, and when, and how we will finance our lives once we get there.

I am very nervous. Very excited. Looking to share my stories as I go and also worried about being too much of an online Diarist who shares too much of the intimate. Fear and worry are powerful things. I can be brave. I can be kind. I am strong.

more to come?