just sit there

Tomorrow I'm going to the desert, and there I am going to sit for a total of ten hours a day for ten days.  A hundred hours, sitting on the floor.

My body will probably hurt.  I have no idea what else will happen.

While I'm there I will also not be talking, reading, or writing.  I will have no verbal outlet for the train of thought in my mind, so I imagine I will learn to quiet it, and focus on things other than words, like how I feel and where I am right now.

Maybe.  I'm not even trying to guess.  It might be the opposite of what I expect, as is always a possibility.

outside

It's amazing to me how different it feels to be out in "nature" as opposed to the city.  I forget when I don't get out of the concrete that there exist places where a person can dig a hole or build a beautiful pyre out of found wood to light a fire.  Next thing you know, my friend and I were making up songs in two part harmony.  We get to express our creative selves in other ways in the City, but sometimes it just feels right to use my arms and legs to walk and carry and let my creativity come out in ways other than pen and paper or a cute outfit.

Right?  The Outside reminds us who we are on the Inside.  Or something.  Let's go play!

what do you want?

How do you want your body to feel, what do you want your life to be like?  I'm not asking what you don't want: "I want such and such a pain to go away" or "I want such and such a person to stop being so selfish", but what you do actually want to see happening in you and around you.

What does feeling good feel like?  What does a good relationship feel like?  How about a life-affirming diet or a joyful workout routine?  

What exactly would that be?

Feel it.  Imagine it all day long.  Act as if you already have it.  Then when it does, we'll know a good thing when it comes along, we'll be ready for it, and we can integrate it into our lives.

It can be slow if we want to, but let's go get what we want.

beautiful

Maybe beautiful on the inside takes work too.

I grew up in a culture of high image consciousness, and in response to this, my friends and I decided to be beautiful. We spent time and energy learning how to look attractive to others and then putting our new knowledge into practice: styling hair, painting finger- and toenails, applying makeup, plucking eyebrows, wearing the right clothes, and just as importantly, making sure that it all looked natural and lovely and like we had just fallen out of bed looking so incredibly good. It took a lot of time, but it was worth it for the smiles and "isn't she lovely"s we got from the people around us.

Over the past couple of years it has become just as important to me to be beautiful beneath my skin: to have healthy cells that make up healthy muscles, bones, and viscera. To be calm and at peace in my mind and with the people around me.

As I started to spend more time and energy into these goals, I realized that I didn't have time for both sides: to focus on the inside and the outside all at once. I would catch myself in a mirror or (worse!) in a photograph and laugh at the girl I saw who looked just like a human, and not some fascinating and inspiring walking art project.

The longer I go on this healing path, though, the more I realize two things:

1. There is indeed time for both. Since I have decided to live an urban life and surround myself with people and what I think are their expectations of how a person should look, I can take the time and still play that game. Even though I'm usually still not willing to go to all the effort on preparing my personal appearance, I can feel that there is time to take care of myself and have fun with how I present myself to the world. Sometimes it will mean a little give and take with where and when I meditate or stretch, but I am finding that there can be room for both if I'm willing to be creative.

2. The health coming from the inside can actually make us more beautiful on the outside. People see and respond to the colors and shapes of a healthy human: that is ostensibly why we're wearing that makeup in the first place, right? It's a tricky one, because I know that I would not be comfortable to roll out to a fancy party with my comfortable massage/bike riding clothes on and smile and say, "don't I look pretty?" but there is something to it. Often the clothes and the hair are a signifier that we care enough to do a lot of work to get ready for an event, but what about the countless hours spent becoming centered and well?

Chances are very good that I'm not the best one to prove this second point. That the little experiment of my own life might never lead to the same results that having a great "look" used to get me. Somebody can though. People that I know: you can see the peace in their heart and the joy in their life and even the alignment of their spine and you know that they are beautiful indeed.

Give it a try: just take a little bit of all that time and energy you put on your outward appearance and apply it to the inner You. Whether that means time for rest and reflexion, preparing a healthy meal, stretching in your living room, getting bodywork, or whatever else you know you need. Do it, and see if it doesn't shine through for you. You'll be a little healthier, and maybe that health will make itself known on the outside too.

get a massage

Get one.   It's so obvious, right?  The benefits are numerous, and many can't be articulated in words, but let me do my best to describe what happens when we get a massage:

Time to let the body heal:

First off, there is the simple fact that for a whole session, be it ninety minutes, or sixty, or fifteen, there is nothing we have to do but receive.  What a relief!  The less we can actively "do" during a massage session, the more fully we can reap the benefits of what we've come for.  This practice of not-doing activates the parasympathetic nervous system/puts us in "rest and digest" mode, and from there our body can do what it was made to do: move food and fluids effectively, and scan itself for areas of infection or dis-ease in order to flush out weakened tissue.  We are self-healing machines!  All we have to do is give ourselves time to do what already do well.  This leads to better digestion and a healthier immune system: more protection from the flus and colds that attack our friends and co-workers.

For me, that right there is enough, and there's more!

Freedom from pain:

Another thing that happens during a massage is areas of tension in our muscles break down under the therapist's hands.  This is probably the most commonly shared phenomenon while receiving massage.  That feeling of pressure going over a speed bump in my shoulders and then noticing that the speed bump is gone.  Substances such as lactic acid can move from being locked up in my soft tissue to moving freely through the body as they should.  Suddenly I feel light and flexible in areas that had felt tight and painful. 

Enhanced creativity and better insight into problems:

When we take a break from worry about our cares and responsibilities, our minds are free to come up with new and creative ways to solve the puzzles and problems of our lives.  When we know that we are safe, a new form of insight can come to us, even if it doesn't happen on the table.  It may be days or weeks later, but after we've had a chance to let go for a moment like we can on a massage table, a formerly impossible situation may suddenly seem to resolve itself, the solution is so obvious.

As I write and reread this, it feels like I'm making unreasonably marvelous claims about the benefits of massage, but the only reason I say these things is that I've felt it happen in my own life so many times, and I have watched it happen over and over in the bodies, minds and lives of my own clients.  I have seen how the simple act of attending to the health of a person with my hands, or receive that kind of work, simply makes my life better.  I feel healthier and free from pain, I make better decisions, I have more fun in my body.  

Go get some work.  And let me know how you feel.