relax

It takes a lot of work for us humans to get tension stuck in our bodies.  We have to hold ourselves in uncomfortable positions for hours at a time for weeks in a row in order to create a pattern of holding where our bodies feel like they can't relax or can't get rid of the pain on their own.  Same things with our lives.  We have to allow a pattern of making certain decisions or communicating in a certain way  or making certain mistakes to happen over and over until we feel like "this is just how I am" (or "...just how they are" or "...life is") and we don't see a possibility for anything to change it. 

So why don't we just stop?  Why don't we get unstuck?  What's so hard about just letting go? 

Relax.  

It sounds like it should be the easiest thing in the world.  Just don't clench your jaw when you sleep, just don't tighten your butt cheeks when you're angry, just don't hold up your shoulders when you type.  Just don't be in pain, just don't suffer anymore.

Relax.

The thing that I've found is that relaxing, and letting go, and getting unstuck all take a lot of work.  I have to really concentrate and listen to my body to even feel the muscle that I'm holding in the first place, and then I have to concentrate even more in order to consciously and actively let it go.  It's hard work, and the even harder part about it is that it's the opposite kind of work that got the tension in there in the first place.  Instead of forcing, I have to soften.  Instead of trying, I have to actively not try.  I have to trust my muscles to intuitively know where they are supposed to be in relation to my bones and organs.  I have to trust my body to put itself back together the way it's supposed to be.

Relax.

Trust.

Get unstuck.

It takes effort, and then it has to be effortless.

Maybe our lives are that way too: maybe if we listen for a pattern that causes misunderstanding and allow ourselves to avoid getting swept up in it just one time, maybe something will loosen up in our relationship or our job or our sense of self.  Maybe?

We can start with the body: make the effort, and relax.