beautiful

Maybe beautiful on the inside takes work too.

I grew up in a culture of high image consciousness, and in response to this, my friends and I decided to be beautiful. We spent time and energy learning how to look attractive to others and then putting our new knowledge into practice: styling hair, painting finger- and toenails, applying makeup, plucking eyebrows, wearing the right clothes, and just as importantly, making sure that it all looked natural and lovely and like we had just fallen out of bed looking so incredibly good. It took a lot of time, but it was worth it for the smiles and "isn't she lovely"s we got from the people around us.

Over the past couple of years it has become just as important to me to be beautiful beneath my skin: to have healthy cells that make up healthy muscles, bones, and viscera. To be calm and at peace in my mind and with the people around me.

As I started to spend more time and energy into these goals, I realized that I didn't have time for both sides: to focus on the inside and the outside all at once. I would catch myself in a mirror or (worse!) in a photograph and laugh at the girl I saw who looked just like a human, and not some fascinating and inspiring walking art project.

The longer I go on this healing path, though, the more I realize two things:

1. There is indeed time for both. Since I have decided to live an urban life and surround myself with people and what I think are their expectations of how a person should look, I can take the time and still play that game. Even though I'm usually still not willing to go to all the effort on preparing my personal appearance, I can feel that there is time to take care of myself and have fun with how I present myself to the world. Sometimes it will mean a little give and take with where and when I meditate or stretch, but I am finding that there can be room for both if I'm willing to be creative.

2. The health coming from the inside can actually make us more beautiful on the outside. People see and respond to the colors and shapes of a healthy human: that is ostensibly why we're wearing that makeup in the first place, right? It's a tricky one, because I know that I would not be comfortable to roll out to a fancy party with my comfortable massage/bike riding clothes on and smile and say, "don't I look pretty?" but there is something to it. Often the clothes and the hair are a signifier that we care enough to do a lot of work to get ready for an event, but what about the countless hours spent becoming centered and well?

Chances are very good that I'm not the best one to prove this second point. That the little experiment of my own life might never lead to the same results that having a great "look" used to get me. Somebody can though. People that I know: you can see the peace in their heart and the joy in their life and even the alignment of their spine and you know that they are beautiful indeed.

Give it a try: just take a little bit of all that time and energy you put on your outward appearance and apply it to the inner You. Whether that means time for rest and reflexion, preparing a healthy meal, stretching in your living room, getting bodywork, or whatever else you know you need. Do it, and see if it doesn't shine through for you. You'll be a little healthier, and maybe that health will make itself known on the outside too.